Ashfae's College Graduation Extravaganza
by Ashfae
Summary: In which I hold another party, this time to celebrate my graduation from college, and even more chaos ensues than before. You'd think I'd know better by now.


Ashfae's College Graduation Extravaganza

  


by Ashfae

This story may contain mild spoilers for any number of anime series. Spoilers are usually about people you thought were guys who are actually girls, or vice-versa. There's one small bit of profanity, but hey, it's coming from Inu-yasha, and we all know what a potty mouth he is...;) 

By the way, this is technically a sequel to "Ashfae's 21st Birthday Extravaganza." Except that one was just as crazy, and the term "sequel" does not really apply. Same style though. Might help to read it first. 

* * *

Picture a scene, Oh Readers: a very large room, filled with a great many people, most of whom have oddly shaped/colored hair. Many of these people are insanely cute, or at least insanely bishoneny. A young woman climbs up onto a platform. She's wearing a black tanktop and blue jeans; she's always wearing a black tanktop and blue jeans. A bright red bandanna (stolen from Sanosuke) pulls her hair back into a ponytail. She's grinning madly and holding a megaphone in her left hand. As soon as she's pulled herself onto the platform, she holds up the megaphone and screams into it. "HIYA!" 

Everyone in the crowd winces as ear-piercing feedback whines out. 

Ashfae looks sheepish and speaks more quietly. "Uh, that's to say, hi! Welcome to my party! It's nice to see all of you again! As you all know, this party is to celebrate the fact that I HAVE NOW GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE!" Fanfare rings out from all sides. Ashfae takes a bow. "Thank you, thank you very much! So, that being said--" 

"Hey Ashfae!" someone shouts from the crowd, "What're you gonna do now?" 

Ashfae blinks. "Uh, well, I was just going to find a job that'll keep me alive for the next year, and then maybe go to grad school, and--" 

"What was your major?" 

Ashfae sweatdrops. "Well, I went to a funky liberal arts college so we didn't exactly have majors--" 

"Then what in the heck did you study?" 

Ashfae is beginning to look irritated. "Fairy tales and music composition." 

"That's it? How do you expect to make a living with a degree like that?" 

"I don't know," Ashfae snaps. "I want to score movies, score video games, teach English, write lots of esoteric books on the philosophy and psychology of folklore, create an anti-gravity serum, and learn everything there is to know about programming in Perl. If I'm really very lucky I'll publish a few fantasy books while I'm at it, make it big, meet David Eddings and Neil Gaimen, and then Neil Gaimen will ask me to help him write the scripts for the Sandman movies, then I'll get to score them as well, and I'll live happily ever after. Anything else you want to know?" 

"What about Orson Scott Card?" 

"Already met him. Great guy. Almost as horrified as I am by the idea of the kid from The Phantom Menace playing Ender in the movie..." Ashfae blinks. "Why do you want to know all this?" 

"So I can laugh myself sick watching you flip burgers at McDonalds for the next ten years, like everyone else who gets a liberal arts degree." 

Ashfae's eyes narrow. She snaps her fingers. "Soujiro." 

A sweet-faced boy dressed in blue and holding a sword appears on the platform. "Yes, Ashfae-sama?" 

"Would you mind taking care of this for me?" 

Soujiro smiles brightly. "Certainly, Ashfae-sama!" He taps his foot a few times and then zooms into the crowd with blinding speed. A short scream rings out, and Soujiro reappears on the platform, shaking blood off of his sword. "Is that more or less what you wanted, Ashfae-sama?" 

Ashfae beams. "Exactly what I had in mind, thank you." She looks back out at the audience. "I hope that wasn't anyone important. By the way, this is Soujiro. He's acting as security this time, since Lina didn't work out quite so well as I'd hoped at my last party. Be nice to me or he'll skewer you." 

Soujiro smiles brightly. The audience shivers, except for a few rabid fangirls, who look delighted. 

"As usual, this party is being held so that I can gather all my favorite anime characters together, watch them interact, and then make fun of them. I'm sure you'll all give a warm welcome to my newest addiction, the gang from Revolutionary Girl Utena." 

Polite applause fills the air, overshadowed by the terrified screams of those who've seen the entire series. There's also an enthusiastic cry of "WAI! WAI! UTENA-SAMA!!" from Wakaba. 

"Okay, minna-san! That's all! I hope you enjoy my graduation party!" The megaphone lets out another squeal. 

"THAT'S IT!" 

Ashfae blinks as a small, cute person with massive amounts of pink hair pushes her way forward. "Did you want something, Washuu?" 

"That's Washu-CHAN, thank you. How are you doing that with the megaphone?" 

Ashfae blinks again. "I beg your pardon?" 

Washuu points at the cone in Ashfae's hand. "It's metal wrapped in the shape of a cone. Nothing more. It's not electronic. It's not hooked up to anything electronic. How are you producing feedback with it?" 

Ashfae sweatdrops. "Umm...I don't know?" 

Washuu is leaning down by Ashfae's hand, looking at the megaphone and talking a mile a minute. "What kind of metal is this? Where did you get it? Was it made in this galaxy or another? Does this happen when other people use it, or just you? What if--" 

Ashfae, looking distinctly worried, is dragged off by the short (but cute) scientist, who is apparently intending to run some tests. 

"Umm...help?" 

And so the party begins... 

***********************

Himura Kenshin is having a hard time concealing his anxiety. Memories of Ashfae's 21st Birthday Party wash over him: the swordfighting contest that set him against a boy who only spoke a strange language called "Shakespeare"...or worse, so deadly it cannot be remembered without terror, the Toxic Cooking Contest...even Kenshin's polite demeanor slips at the thought of that most dreaded of competitions. His head reeling at the very thought, Kenshin inadvertantly bumps into someone. Intending to apologize, he looks up to find...himself?!? 

"Hey, watch where you're goin', short-stuff!" 

Well, a man who looks remarkably like himself, red hair and cross-scar and everything...only about a foot and a half taller. Kenshin's head begins to _really_ hurt. "Who are you de gozaru yo?" 

"I," the man says while striking a pose, "am Sato Hiroshi." The man holds his pose, obviously expecting a dramatic reaction. 

"Who?" 

Sato Hiroshi looks dumbfounded. "You've never heard of me? How can you have never heard of me? I'm the most famous soap opera actor in the world! I played Kiryuu Touga in 'As the World Falls Down,' Ayanojou Abaratsubo in 'As the Broom Flies,' and most recently Himura Kenshin in 'As the Sakaba Turns'--" 

"Oro?" 

"You know...Himura Kenshin? The Hitokiri Battousai?" 

"But I'm Himura Kenshin de gozaru yo!" Kenshin blurts. 

The other guy looks disbelieving. "YOU'RE the legendary swordsman? You? Aren't you a little short for a legend?" 

Kenshin, having heard this sort of diatribe countless times before, stifles the urge to respond, 'Aren't you a little tall for a twit?' "They made a _soap opera_ about me?" he instead asks disbelievingly. 

"Be serious; you know you're not the real Hitokiri Battousai, he's just a legend. Besides, he'd be much taller and more dangerous and glamorous than you. You can stop pretending; you must be a huge fan of the show to be dressed like that. No, it's all right, you don't have to be embarassed. Would you like an autograph?" 

"ORO?!?!" 

***********************

"I'm just a totally normal girl who wants a totally normal guy." 

"Me too! Well, he's not totally normal, he does turn into a girl when he's hit by cold water, but he's still my fiancee so I don't mind..." 

"I'm actually engaged to a girl myself, but she's very sweet and anyway it's all just ridiculous..." 

"And of course after he ditched me when we were six my womanhood was destroyed so I started dressing like a guy all the time..." 

"Yeah, after I met my prince I was so impressed by him that I started to dress like a guy too, so that I could be more like him..." 

"And then I had to train myself in martial arts, sparring against the raging sea until I was strong enough to track him down and make him pay..." 

"I taught myself to use a sword so that I could be more princely..." 

"But really we're just normal girls." 

"Completely normal." 

Kuonji Ukyou and Tenjou Utena, both dressed in boy's uniforms, sip tea with an air of perfect serenity. 

***********************

A shadow moves along the wall...inch by inch, centimeter by centimeter, nanometer by nanometer, his target approaches...a quick movement of the wrist, and success is his! 

"Oh! My brassiere! There's a PERVERT here! Please, someone help!!!" 

There is a great flash--suddenly the darkest corner is now the brightest spot in the room! The shadow flings itself back against the wall, brassiere clenched tightly in one fist. "What's going on?" a grumpy voice exclaims. 

"You will not get away with this foul deed, miscreant! For it is I..." [insert dramatic pause here] "BISHONEN MAN!" 

Happosai blinks. "Aren't you from that show about the giant chicken of doom?" 

"Suzaku! Suzaku!" The bishonen, dressed in a perfectly-pressed suit complete with dramatic cape waving in nonexistant wind, stamps his foot in irritation. 

"And aren't you supposed to be chasing the emperor there or something?" 

Nuriko shrugs. "Everyone needs a hobby." 

"Foolish boy! You are not worthy of being Bishonen Man! Only I--" [insert another dramatic pause, another flash of light, another bishnonen in a suit] "Dick Saucer, am allowed to have that honor!" 

"You, a bishonen! Don't make me laugh! You look like a kid!" 

"Blame the animators! At least I'm manly enough to get away with wearing tights!" 

"I don't need tights! I have more sparkles than Michael Jackson!" 

"You can see my eyes through my hair!" 

"I'm a convincing crossdresser!" 

Another flash of light, another dramatic pause as the two argumentative bishonen turn to look at the newcomer. Their jaws drop as they make a mental list. Long flowing hair: check. Hair of unusual color: purple, check. Eyes that show through hair: check. Glamour: check. Dashing smile: check. Snazzy clothing: check. Shirt half open displaying bronzed chest: check. Lying sprawled on the front of a glittering red convertabile that's obviously meant to be symbolic of naughty things: check. 

Akio smirks. "I win." 

Meanwhile, of course, Happosai has fled with a hoard of screaming girls on his tail, happily shouting "PERVERT! at the top of their lungs... 

***********************

"You're really Ashfae's bodyguard?" a skeptical voice asks. 

"Why, yes. Is something strange about that?" Soujiro wipes his sword clean on a napkin. 

"Well, no, I guess not, but did you really have to skewer that guy who was knocked out of the ring in the Sumo Tournament?" 

"The strong live. The weak die. He lost, so obviously he was weak. Excuse me very much, but it looks like this match looks nearly over..." 

Soujiro walks off. Several nervous/impressed eyes follow. 

"My, what a polite little psycho!" Kausmi Tendou exclaims. 

***********************

Sanosuke groans. "Oh god, don't tell me she's trying this trick _again?_" 

A crowd of dark-haired bishonen kenpoists nod glumly. They're standing next to a sign that says "Dark-haired kenpoists gather here! Sanosuke, Ryouga, Spike, Aoshi--this means you! Run away this time and I'll sic Xelloss on you!" 

Spike lounges indifferently on a couch that for apparent reason is sitting nearby. "Ah, big deal. So we fight a bit and the girl gets a kick out of it, so what?" 

"It is demeaning," Aoshi scowls. 

"No kiddin'," Sano snorts. 

Ryouga, red-faced, is twiddling his thumbs and looking for a method of escape. No such luck; all the nearby exits are blocked. Suddenly a light bulb appears above his head. "We could tunnel out!" 

Spike snorts. "You got a shovel?" 

"We don't need a shovel! Watch!" Ryouga takes a deep breath and stares hard at the floor. "Bakusai Tenketsu!" 

*SMASH!!!* 

Aoshi raises an eyebrow. "An interesting technique, but I suspect it will quickly draw attention." 

Spike whistles. "So? You think anyone's in a hurry to get hit by a lot of rock? That's a _great_ trick!" 

"Big deal!" Sano snorts. "I can do that too! But the technique is called the Futae no Kiwami." 

"No it's not," Ryouga retorts smugly. "It's the Bakusai Tenketsu. It's an ancient Chinese technique." 

Sano's eyes narrow. "Futae no Kiwami!" 

"Bakusai Tenketsu!" 

"Futae no Kiwami!" 

"Bakusai Tenketsu!" 

"What kind of attack is called the Futae no Kiwami?" 

"You kiddin'? 'Breaking Point Technique' is frikkin' _boring._" 

"Better than Futae no Kiwami!" 

"Oh yeah!?" 

"Yeah!" 

Sano punches the floor by Ryouga's feet; a hail of rocks strikes both fighters, leaving them scraped and bleeding. 

"Hah! I barely felt that at all! Let's see how _you_ like it! _Bakusai Tenketsu!_" 

Another poke, another hail of rocks. 

"_Futae no Kiwami!_" 

"_Bakusai Tenketsu!_" 

As one, Aoshi and Spike duck behind a spare table. Eventually silence resumes, and they raise their heads. But where Ryouga and Sanosuke were sitting is just a large (as in fifty feet high or therabouts) pile of pebbles... 

***********************

"What I find so interesting," Touga takes a sip of tea, "is how attractive we all are." 

"Truly," Hotohori agrees. "But then, it is only right that men with the same melodious voice should be gifted with equally attractive exteriors." 

"And yet no two of us look the same..." 

"Actually, I would argue that there is a great similarity between you, Aya, and Aburatsubo..." 

"The long red hair you mean? Well, perhaps..." 

"It is an amazing color. I must confess to being envious." 

"I've begun to tire of it, to be honest. I wish to date Tenjou Utena, but she continues to refuse me. I suspect it's because our hair colors clash." 

"Is that so? Well, perhaps she does have a point...those shades of pink and red simply do not mix..." 

Other bishonen lounge nearby, listening to the conversation. Aya broods silently in the corner, one hand closed around his sword. Ilbarazzo-sama broods silently in another corner, wondering if he should postpone his plans for world conquest in order to take up sculpting. Aburatsubo sits in front of a mirror, noting how well the shade of lipstick he's wearing compliments his eyes. Rezo the Red Priest argues details of theology with Olivier. Hanagata runs from one person to the next, staring at each of them in turn and trying not to drool. 

"Hey hey hey! All those guys have the same voice as my Ilbarasso-sama!" Excel bounces about. 

"Moooooouuuuu!!! And _you_ have exactly the same voice as _me_! That's so annoying! This never happens to any _normal_ girls!" Sailor Moon pouts. 

Kage Houshi looks at the two excessively cute younger girls warily. "This is very strange," she mutters in a quieter version of the voice the two other girls use. 

Arisugawa Juri shrugs. "It's not a miracle," she says in an equally quiet and far more monotonic voice. "All it means is that we have the same voice actress. Our personalities are still vastly different." 

"Thank god," mutters Katsuragi Misato. "You guys are all nuts." 

Juri raises an eyebrow. "This coming from a woman who shares an apartment with a beer-drinking penguin?" 

Off in the distance, Mink screams: "SAAAAAAAAAUCEERRR!! WAI! WAI!" 

"You've got the wrong guy, kid! My name is Gourry! Aaah!" 

Even further off in the distance, Ashfae mutters: "I'm never inviting Mitsuishi Kotono or Takehito Koyasu again. In face, I'm never making this stupid joke about characters who have the same voice actor or actress again." 

"Vile sorceror! How dare you mimic the golden tones of the Blue Thunder! Your insolence is too much to bear! I will smite thee!" 

"...Aku, soku, zan..." 

Ashfae scowls. "Oh, shut up." 

***********************

"Mulder, I'm getting very tired of listening to this." 

"I'm telling you, Scully, that guy just isn't human. What human do you know who can get beat up that much and still keep winning? He's like a red-haired sword-wielding Energizer Bunny." 

"So he's resilliant, Mulder, I still don't see--" 

"Why is it so hard to believe, Scully? After all the things we've seen, after all the things _you've_ seen, why can't you at least consider this option? We've gone through ghosts, vampires, werewolves, killer mushrooms, flesh-eating cockroaches, no succubi yet (damn it), the occassional case of demonic possession, countless alien sightings...hell Scully, by now you should know that _anything_ is possible. We could both have been cloned countless times over. We could be trapped in slime-filled cocoons while machines use our body's natural energy as a source of fuel. Hell, we could just be characters in a television show that some crackpot in another universe is watching!" 

[Both charaters stop dead for one moment, turn and look out at the reader--yes, that's you--with an expression of incredulity, and then turn to face each other with wide eyes and shaken expressions. Then they blink, and dissolve back into bickering.] 

***********************

"AAAAAAGH! HOW? HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS??" Washu has examined the megaphone countless times. It is a conical piece of metal, nothing more. The only way it can produce sound on its own is if it's banged against another object. (which, incidently, she has also tested, by hitting it against a metal table leg, Zelgadis' head, and a Port-A-Potty). Nevertheless, as soon as Ashfae attempts to speak through the megaphone, it gives off feedback. Ashfae's ears are beginning to ring from constant exposure to the piercing noise; she prays that she will emerge from these experiments with her hearing intact. 

A new light comes into Washu's eyes. "Of course! If the problem isn't in the megaphone, it must be something in you! Do you have any metal in your body? An excessively high iron count in your blood? Any relatives from the meteor cluster next to Jupiter? Did you swallow a tuning fork? I'll have to run some more tests..." 

Ashfae struggles, but is held firmly in place by the chains Washu used to bind her earlier. As the short, cute scientst begins attaching wires to more spots on her body than Ashfae cares to think about, she begins hoping instead that she will emerge from these experiments with her sanity intact. 

***********************

"CUTE ANIMALS CONTEST! All cute animals welcome to participate! Pick your favorite! Note: all Pokemon will be shot on sight." 

P-chan sits mournfully in the center of a large group of cute, furry animals. He is obviously resigned to his fate. Shampoo (in her cat form) hisses and snarls at anyone who dares approach her. Menchi sits sorrowfully off to the side, crooning a sad little melody. "Ou ou, ou ou ou...ou ou, ou ou ou!" Beside her sits a lovely girl dressed in maroon, who translates the song as follows: "Despite popular belief, I am not a cat. I am a dog. Please do not eat me. If you really want to eat me, at least don't use garlic. I taste delicious when accompanied by a light red wine." Several nearby animals have been reduced to tears by the poignant refrain. Off to the side, a large panda sips a cup of tea and glares at the ceiling. He holds up a sign that reads "Why can't I have a pretty translator instead of this stupid sign?" Beside the panda sits a scowling half dog-demon, who shouts at the top of his lungs "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, ASHFAE!!!!!" 

Ashfae appears out of nowhere and glares right back at Inu-yasha. "SIT!" 

Inu-yasha crashes to the ground, swearing and muttering. "Shit, it's bad enough when Kagome says it..." 

Ashfae grins. "I thought you'd be flattered that I think you're cute." 

"You think _everyone_ is cute!" 

"So?" 

A lop-eared rabbit hops forward. He looks at all the other critters and whips out a switchblade. "You nerds all so pathetic that I'm going to have to kill you on principle." 

The animals all flee in terror...except for Menchi (who bows her head and accepts her fate, thinking that being knifed by a psychotic mini-lop is still preferable to being eaten by Excel) and Inu-yasha, who's still in "Sit" mode. 

Ashfae is looking peeved. "Bun-bun! I didn't invite you! I sent the invitation to Kiki! Where's Kiki?" 

The mini-lop shrugs. [don't ask how] "She got distracted by something shiny. Where's the babes? I was told there'd be babes here." 

Inu-yasha is looking hungrily at the rabbit. "Ashfae, can I eat him?" 

Bun-bun's response is immediate: a knife against the dog-demon's throat. "Who's this loser?" 

"I'm a demon, you measly rabbit!" Inu-yasha growls. 

Bun-bun shrugs again. [I said don't ask how!] "Big deal, dog-boy. Now, tell me where the babes are and maybe I'll let you live." 

"Why you..." 

Within seconds the two are at it tooth and nail. Ashfae prudently runs away. Menchi is still sitting stoically nearby, awaiting her doom. 

***********************

Someone taps Misao on the shoulder; she turns to find Okina standing behind her, wearing a somber expression. "Jiya! What's wrong?" 

"My pretty little Misao...I have horrible news...about..." 

Misao gasps. "No! Not Aoshi-sama! Has something happened?" 

"I'm very, very sorry, Misao-chan, but it seems Aoshi was hit in the head by a rather large rock, and...Misao, your Aoshi-sama has...turned into a goth." 

"WHAT?!?!?!?!" 

In the darkest shadow of the darkest corner of the room stands a tall man wearing a long black trenchcoat. His face is covered with white makeup, his eyelids and lips and nails dyed a dense black. "Hannya...Beshimi...Hyotoko...Shikijou...aaaaah! The angst! Feel the winds of angst!!!" A breeze whips up from nowhere, swirling Shinomori Aoshi's trenchcoat dramatically about his legs. 

A tall man wearing an even more densely black cloak steps forward out of the crowd and points a finger at the wailing Okashira. "I'm more goth than you!" Folken sobs. "I even had a purple tear and eyeliner permanently inked onto my face!" 

"You?" Aoshi scoffs. "You're nothing but a poser. You don't know the meaning of true angst!" 

"I'm a poser? You're the one dressed like a Brandon Lee clone!" 

A tall man wearing a large dark cloak, a large floppy black hat, and a large sword steps forward. "I'm a half-vampire who hunts other vampires," says D. "I scoff at you both." 

Off to the side, Misao is whimpering. "Jiya, please tell me I'm dreaming..." 

***********************

"Hey Miki-kun, how'd you get roped into this?" 

"I wasn't roped into anything. Ashfae-san asked very nicely if I'd be willing." 

"You're kidding." 

"No. Why, Kei-san? What did she say to you?" 

"That she'd write an alternate-world Marmalade Boy fic pairing me up with Jinny (better known as The Slumbitch) if I refused." 

"That's frightening." 

"Yes. Hey, what was that bright light just now?" 

"Oh, just another UFO." 

"UFO?" 

"Unidentified Fuku-ed Object." 

"Ah yes..." 

Tsuchiya Kei and Kaoru Miki continue to play complicated duets on the piano. 

***********************

"This is a very enjoyable party," Ryudo Tsuzuku muses. "Perhaps we ought to send a gift to the hostess..." 

"Yeah, this is great! Just look at all the cute chicks!" Ryudo Owaru grins hugely, his eyes bugging out as a set of cat-girl twins slink by. 

"Oniisan..." a small voice cries out piteously. 

Tsuzuku looks down to find his youngest brother tugging on his pants. "What is it, Amaru?" 

Amaru face is pale. "Oniisan, I don't feel so good..." 

Just at that moment, Owaru catches sight of a cute redhead wearing sorceress robes. Instead of reacting with pleasure at the sight of such a pretty girl, his face twists and he grabs his stomach. "Kami-sama! I think I'm gonna be sick! Get that girl away from me!" 

The redhead (who is, of course, Lina Inverse) stomps over immediately, followed by a tall blonde guy in armor (who is, of course, Dick Sau--uh, I mean Gourry). "EXCUSE ME?!" she shouts, obviously offended. "What did you just say?" 

Another cute girl standing near the brothers looks furious. "Owaru-kun! You apologize to this girl right now!" 

"But she _is_, Matsuri-chan!" Owaru protests. "I don't know why, but something about her is just utterly disgusting!" 

Gourry looks curious. "That's true, but how'd you know? She hasn't gotten into any trouble yet tonight." A small candle appears above his head; the swordsman curls one hand into a fist and smacks it against his open palm. "I've got it! You must be dragons!" 

Amaru looks impressed. "Wow, how'd you--" 

Tsuzuku claps a hand over his younger brother's mouth before the sentence can be finished. "How did you come up with such an impossible theory, he means." 

"Well, Lina's the Dragon Spooker, so..." 

The boy breaks free of his brother's grasp long enough to ask, "What's a Dragon Spooker?" 

"It's short for Dragons Step Past Out Of KlEar Revulsion." 

"She's revolting, all right," Owaru grumbles. 

Matsuri throws her hands up in the air and glares at the oldest member of the group. "Really, Hajime-san, how did you raise these three? You should have done a better job!" 

"To tell the truth, Matsuri-chan, I'm inclined to share their opinion." Ryudo Hajime's face has a slightly greenish cast. "There's just something about that girl..." 

"WILL YOU ALL QUIT TALKING ABOUT ME AS THOUGH I'M NOT HERE?!?" 

"Lina, you know that you promised Ashfae you wouldn't cast any more Dragon Slaves." 

"I didn't make any promises about the Laguna Blade. Or the Giga Slave. Or the--" 

"...oh no..." 

***********************

***EARTH SHATTERING KABOOM!!!!*** 

***********************

Ashfae crawls out from underneath a pile of rubble. Her face is smudged, her clothes wrinkled and torn. She eyes the carnage around her. 

"This must be Lina's work," she muses. "Good thing everyone's made out of saturated technicolor and can't be harmed. Still, the place is ruined. I could get pissed, or I could run like hell before Washuu finds me again. Yes, running like hell seems a wise idea..." 

Ashfae books it. 

***********************

"Well, it looks like the party is over." 

"So it would seem." 

"What shall we do tonight, Touga?" 

"The same thing we do every night, Saionji--try to bring about the world revolution!" 

* * *

1) Sato Hiroshi is a very common sort of Japanese name, similar to John Smith in English. And yes, I made him up. I just found the way Touga, Kenshin, and Abaratsubo all have similar-style hair amusing. I almost threw Aya (Weiss Kreuz) in there too, but decided against it. Hehe. The "As the Sakaba Turns" joke was posted publically to the Kenshin Fanfiction & Discussion ML a while ago; I'm sorry, but I can't remember who said it. Let me know and I'll give you credit. The other two soap operas I invented myself. 

2) The "Aren't you a little short for a legend?/Aren't you a little tall for a twit?" exchange is stolen directly from an old Bloom County strip. Steve Dallas meets Tess Turbo, for those of you who read it. What can I say...any strip whose main star is a penguin deserves quoting. This also goes for anime series starring penguins. (we all know who the _real_ star of Evangelion is) 

3) Yep, the pun about the Bakusai Tenketsu being "boring" is definitely intentional. (or did you catch it at all? If you remember, Cologne said the technique was originally invented to help miners drill tunnels... please don't kill me!) 

4) Hotohori, Touga, Rezo, Olivier, Ilbarazzo, Aburatsubo, Hanagata, and Aya are all voiced by Takehito Koyasu. Mitsuishi Kotono is the voice actress for Excel, Sailor Moon, Kage Houshi, Juri, Misato, and Mink. The same guy also voices both Tatewaki Kunou and Saitou Hajime, though I can't remember what his name is. 

5) No, I haven't got anything against goths. Some of my best friends are goths (and darned sexy ones, too), and for that matter you wouldn't believe how much black velvet I've got in my closet. I still like making fun of goth stereotypes. No offense intended, of course. 

6) About Bishonen Man...*giggle* Some friends and I were commenting on bishonen stereotypes, particularly the tendency to save girls in trouble. During a scene in Utena where Touga makes an interesting save, someone shouted out "Bishonen Man to the rescue!" We were laughing too hard to watch the rest of the scene. Er, perhaps you had to be there. *gryn* Just be glad I didn't throw in "Mooooooooooojo Shoujo!" while I was at it... 

7) A fuku is the uber-short skirt that schoolgirls wear. Hence, an Unidentified Fuku-ed Object is typically a cute girl. 

8) Giant Chicken of Doom is a phrase credited to people even more insane than me. 

The following characters graciously made appearances: 

From Rurouni Kenshin: Himura Kenshin, Saitou Hajime, Sagara Sanosuke, Makimichi Misao, Shinomori Aoshi, Okina, and Hannya-Beshimi-Hyotoko-Shikijou (in spirit) 

From Revolutionary Girl Utena: Wakaba, Akio, Tenjou Utena, Kiryuu Touga, Arisugawa Juri, Saionji 

From Ranma 1/2: Kuonji Ukyou, Kunou Tatewaki, Hibiki Ryouga/P-chan, Shampoo (as cat), Saotome Genma (as panda) 

From Fushigi Yuugi: Nuriko, Hotohori, The Giant Chicken of Doom (in spirit) 

From Weiss Kreuz: Fujimiya Aya 

From Mahou Tsukei Tai: Ayanojou Aburatsubo 

From Excel Saga: Ilbarazzo-sama, Excel, Menchi, Menchi's Unnamed Translator Who Always Appears in the Credits 

From Slayers: Rezo the Red Priest, Lina Inverse, Gourry, Zelgadis. 

From Gestalt: Olivier 

From Saber Marionette J: Hanagata 

From Sailor Moon: Sailor Moon 

From Flame of Recca: Kage Houshi 

From Inu-yasha: Inu-yasha 

From Neon Genesis Evangelion: Katsuragi Misato, Pen-pen (in spirit) 

From Dragonhalf: Mink, Dick Saucer 

From Tenchi Muyo: Washu-chan 

From Vision of Escaflowne: Folken Slanzar de Fanel 

From Sohryuden--Legend of the Four Dragon Kings: Ryudo Hajime, Ryudo Tsuzuku, Ryudo Owaru, Ryudo Amaru, Toba Matsuri 

Special Guests:   
Mulder & Scully from _The X-Files_   
Bun-Bun from Sluggy Freelance (because no story is complete without a psychotic knife-wielding rabbit) 

ashfae@technicaldetails.org   
http://www.ashfae.net 


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